What is Romance?

What’s your definition of romantic?

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We hear it all the time: “I just want something romantic.” But most people never stop to ask, what does that even mean? Where did the word come from? And what has it cost us?

Let’s be clear: romance is not sacred. It’s not a commandment. It’s not a pillar of anything holy. And yet, we chase it like it’s salvation. The word itself comes from old European tales, fantasy stories written in the “romance languages,” filled with knights, affairs, and emotional drama. They weren’t rooted in truth. They weren’t rooted in God. They were entertainment. Over time, they became expectations.

But real love? It doesn’t come with a violin soundtrack. It comes with structure, duty, and alignment.

In ancient homes , whether you look to the Bible, the Qur’an, or old tribal law, there was a clear order. God. Man. Woman. Children. Not because anyone was worth more than the other, but because responsibility had to start somewhere. The man carried the burden of provision and protection. The woman kept the rhythm of the home. The children learned by watching them both. It wasn’t perfection, it was purpose.

Break that order, and chaos steps in. That’s what we’re living now.

Women trying to be men. Men stepping back. Children raising themselves. No one listening. No one trusting. And all the while, we’re being sold this idea of “romance” (soft lighting, long stares, staged affection) like that’s going to fix the cracks in the foundation. Romance doesn’t carry the load when you’re sick. Romance doesn’t raise children with values. Romance doesn’t build legacy.

Love does. Duty does. Obedience to something higher does.

When I say I can’t lift a heavy block, I mean it. No matter how much I want to my body wasn’t built for that. So why not ask a man to do what a man is made to do? Why pretend we’re all the same when we’re not? We weren’t designed to compete with each other, we were meant to complement each other. Masculine and feminine, fire and water, strength and nurture.

And nowhere in the ancient texts does it say: “Go find someone romantic.” It says to love with patience, to honor your spouse, to build a household. It warns us not to waste time. It tells us to walk in purpose, not fantasy. This modern version of romance? It’s not just a distraction… it’s a thief.

Romance won’t carry the bricks. Love will.
Romance won’t stay through struggle. Commitment will.
Romance won’t bury you with peace. Faith will.

We don’t need more moments that “feel romantic.” We need more homes in order. We need fathers who lead, mothers who are supported, and children who don’t have to guess who’s in charge. We need to stop performing love, and start living it the way it was always meant to be.

This planet won’t remember how cute we were. It will remember what we left behind. And I promise you, legacy doesn’t come from romance – it comes from alignment.

Let romance return to the storybooks. Let us return to the truth.